I learned to write on the computer- not in the real world.

Of course, that's a bit of an exaggeration. During my childhood, I did plenty of writing on paper. I wrote out words three times each, practiced my cursive, and copied down prayers until I could remember them. I’ve forgotten almost all of them.

It wasn’t until I was about 12, and I discovered there was something called “the internet”, that I realized writing could be a used as a tool of communication. Things like AOL Instant Messenger and E-Mail were new to me, and so were the peculiar things called “forums” that I found on the sites with all the videogame cheats. Forums were even better. I wasn’t restricted to talking with only people I knew from class- I could now connect with anyone anywhere in the world.

My early life as a forumer was one of my first humbling experiences. On the forums, I found that sometimes people wouldn’t just talk about videogames. People my own age were on these things, talking about life’s big topics and expressing their ideas in a way that I couldn’t. I tried to join the discussions, but I just didn’t fit in.

I actually remember the first time I ever used a forum. I’d been playing a controversial role playing game named Xenogears, which my mom bought me for a good report card. The game, as I found out after I visited the forums, was actually a veiled assault on the Judeo-Christian philosophical tradition, right down to central stories bad guys- named “The Ethos”- being almost carbon copies of the Roman Catholic Church.

It sounds silly- having a religious experience which is the result of a conversation some teenagers were having about a game online- but the game was, and is, quite interesting. It’s one of those games, like Final Fantasy, where the plot and characters are more important than the actual gameplay. It’s completely story driven, and has more text and dialogue between characters than many novels I read. Someone- who I wish I could be as cool as- even wrote a novelization of the game. That's how awesome the plot is.

I tried my hand at posting at the Xenogears forums (now all but dead), and saw the narrow minded indoctrinations of my parents and my private school educators chopped down before my very eyes. It was embarrassing, and as Earth shattering as any questioning of faith and traditions can be for a young person of relatively strict Irish Catholic background. Just imagine if James Joyce had computers and videogames, for example, instead or Christmas dinner table arguments about Parnell.

Eventually, I got the hang of it. I joined several forums- communities dedicated to games I liked, or bands, or literature, ect- and subsequently was exposed to a lot of things that that my parents and private Catholic educators hadn’t yet planned for me. I started reading about politics (you mean “The O’Reilly Factor” isn’t the only political commentary out there!?) and new kinds of music that weren’t popular on the radio or with my friends (See; Dream Theater). I started watching Japanese TV shows and anime, which can be just as thought provoking as a lot of literature for a teenager.

In the end, I suppose that the internet gave me a kind of “boost” over my peers. The internet's Earth flattening technology, which is a metaphor I absolute loathe, certainly flattened the Earth for me, and allowed me to experience a type of diverse culturing that I positive couldn’t have otherwise.

Of course, this came with its own problems. I became increasingly anti-social, and by the second half of high school I realized that many of my peers and educators had “caught up” with me. I had to relearn that I could learn something from the people around me, and that I could enjoy being a part of a society in the real world. Eventually, I did, but I had to do a fair share of backtracking to get there.

That’s why I say that I learned to write on a computer before I learned to write on paper. Of course, that’s not really what happened. But the first time I did any kind of meaningful writing, I used the computer. Though this helped me awaken as someone who fancies himself as a –kinda- intellectual person, there was definitely a back draft. I’m still learning how to write for myself, for example, because all the writing I’ve ever done was meant to communicate a specific idea with a specific person. Come to think of it, I’ve never really been able to sit at a desk and write something because that what I thought I’d like to do. Everything I’ve ever written is probably published somewhere- on the net, on a forum, in a paper, etc. I write because I like to communicate ideas, and that’s the probably only reason I like to write. That’s without a doubt something I’m sure I acquired from the net.